The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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