The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
