I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize