considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
What a dumb baby whore.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
