she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Even my vagina gasped.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
