i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Success! We fucked roommates!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
