I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
