He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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