Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
