I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize