i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
