I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
