Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
