This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
