oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think I just sharted jello shots
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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