My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
