Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
