You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think I just sharted jello shots
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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