im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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