Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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