I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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