He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
