We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
