no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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