no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
