You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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