"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
