Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
