Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
