So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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