btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it's like iHOP with fire
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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