Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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