No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
