The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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