it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
