I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
