i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
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hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
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