who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Still dying that you shit outside
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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