Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
