I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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