What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
