week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
