so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
