I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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