And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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