the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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