I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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