both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
