there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize