No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
