3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
