Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
