were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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