Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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