i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
