I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
