Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
