we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
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I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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