where am i from again
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
