Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
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I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
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THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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