I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize