My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize