Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize