She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
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I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
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He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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