I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize